29. First Solo Ayahuasca

On Saturday June 19th I did my first solo Ayahuasca experiment.

The day before I had been on a long hike up over the snow covered Fuorcla da Val Champagna (2500m). Climbing the last 100 metres took over an hour - I kept breaking through the snow, sometimes up to my waist. Exhausting work, but good exercise.

On Saturday I rested. I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a Greek salad and two nectarines for lunch and a few cashew nuts mid-afternoon. I placed a vomit bucket next to my beanbag and laid out a few of the ritual cigar-cigarettes from Iquitos. I built a fire in the hearth at 20.00, then I set light to the palo santo wood which Otilia the shaman had given me. The fragrant smoke of this wood is used like incense by Amazon Indians; it is also said to banish evil spirits. I walked around the house, fumigating with a piece of smoking wood and seriously questioning my sanity. However, I didn't want to take any chances.

I was, I must admit, a little nervous. People have been known to do crazy things under the influence of Ayahuasca. I was all by myself in the house. What's more, I did not know how strong the brew was which I'd brought back from the Amazon. I had 500ml which was supposed to be sufficient for 6 doses. I decided to be careful and to give myself a half dose of 50ml.

At this time of year it does not get dark until 21.30/22.00. I spent a couple of hours thinking about what I hoped to get out of the Ayahuasca experience. One thing I would like to glean is convincing firsthand evidence of a spirit world - the experience of a dimension which is inexplicable to science as we know it.

I took the Ayahuasca at 20.56. It was less viscous than I remembered, less noxious and a little bit fizzy. Presumably it had started to ferment. Then I sat on a beanbag, opposite glowing cinders, for an hour. It slowly grew dark outside. I put on a CD of icaros, the traditional Amazon songs and chants. I felt nothing out of the ordinary, other than hunger and boredom.

I waited another hour. Still nothing happened. Then I decided that the dose must have been too weak, or the brew I had bought was a fake. I got up, switched on the lights and made myself a hearty meal. I felt shortchanged but decided to compensate with a spliff and a line of ketamine. I then settled down to watch another episode of The Wire. I had a sense of unfamiliarity about both the program and my surroundings. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the episode and was able to go to sleep immediately after.

I have boiled the Ayahuasca brew again in order to burn off any alcohol from fermentation. I read online that it is advisable to do that. Next time I will administer a larger dose.