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Anyway, that post was a bit of a rant. I feel bad because I wrote a few things that I really didn't mean. I do not think that Americans are barbarians because of their bad pronunciation of foreign names. There are definitely cultural differences, I won't deny that. And I frequently feel an absence of humor (well, my sort of humor) in day to day interactions, but I'm not sure whether that is a related to this country, this particular part of this country, or the earnestness of this field. However, at the same time I do actually have a very high estimation of most of the people I have met here, based primarily on their default position of warmth and friendliness. Similarly, strangers in the street will smile at you and say hello. I actually think that, as grumpy and cynical Europeans, we could learn something from that. It makes everyone's day more pleasant.
There is another cultural difference which I find amusing, though I would also have to admit that, logically, my position and attitude is the more bizarre. I find it very odd that other students are happy (and permitted) to consume whole meals (e.g. a steaming dish of microwaved lasagna) during class. I would feel very awkward doing that. And that's hardly surprising - from the age of 13 to 18 I went to a school where eating in the street was verboten. You could be fined money for just popping a chocolate into your mouth while sauntering down the High Street. And if students are hungry in class, why shouldn't they eat while the professor instructs? It is perfectly reasonable, and yet I think I will always find it a little odd.
The more I think about it, the more I realise that I may have an unhealthy attitude to eating. I like to stuff myself with as much food as I can but I often feel rather bloated afterwards, not to mention quite disgusted by myself. So then I go to the bathroom and stick a finger down my throat and vomit it all back up.
Iocor.
But I do think that I may have an odd attitude to eating. For one, I hate dinner dates with anyone that I don't already know quite well. If I go on a date, I much prefer to go for a drink. The whole dinner thing is bedeviled with potential pitfalls. For one, I prefer either to talk or to eat. I am not very good at doing both at the same time, for the very logical reason that they both require you to use the same body part. Of course, in general people tend to alternate, but then there is the danger of spitting bits of food or energetically chewing in awkward silence prior to forcing a recalcitrant bolus over your epiglottis. And if the bolus has been insufficiently chewed - maybe a piece of steak which has separated into two smaller boli which are still connected by a thin string of gristle, like an Argentinian gaucho's hunting bolas - what then? The risks are great.
Argentinian aborigine with hunting bolas
I also worry about getting food on my face (spaghetti, with its whiplash finish, presenting the greatest risk), or having bits stuck between my teeth. And, frankly, eating is just not an aesthetically pleasing activity. On a first date, when both parties have devoted energy to looking attractive, why would you choose an activity which, in one moment of inattention, has the potential to undo all the hard work?
I also don't like sitting opposite people in restaurants, as one is frequently forced to do. It is too formal and feels a bit like an interview. Fortunately, many restaurants here have bars at which you can eat. I hope it is a trend which catches on in other places.
I also don't like the fiasco of ordering wine, given that they all taste pretty much the same to me. That's not something I am ashamed of, though it's not necessarily something I want to admit to right away. And I am no great fan of the kerfuffle around paying the bill. If I invite a girl on a date, then I expect to pay for us both (so long as I have the means - that's critical). After all, it's not much of an invitation otherwise. But it is always an attractive quality when a girl doesn't appear to expect you to pay for her, though I'm not sure how this can be conveyed without her having to go through the traditional pantomime of searching for purse/ pulling out credit card etc.
My two preferred ways of avoiding the bill paying/ bill splitting debate are, firstly, to get the bill while the other person is away from the table. That's really the easiest way and probably ends up reflecting most positively on you. Alternatively, I like to stress in my initial communication that I would like to invite my companion to dinner. If she still remonstrates when it comes to paying, you can always say that she can buy you a drink somewhere else; in fact, it can provide an organic segue to the rest of the evening.
